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two years ago, there was a cyber someone in my life. we had a falling out after realizing -- and maybe knowing in our minds and hearts -- that it was NOT going to happen.
well last saturday, he calls. he explains himself. we talk for 5 hours.
the official excuse was he was trying out my new number which i posted in YM.
roughly it was like this:
him: you posted it cause you wanted me to call.
me: maybe i was just too lazy to send individual messages. you didn't have to call.
him: i was just trying if it would work.
me: no, you called cause you miss me.
him: yeah, i miss you.
me in my mind: thank you. for the closure-closure.
i had closure. but closure-closure is good.
-----
you!
stop asking if you can come over and just do it. i can't do this forever.
i can't give you reassurance that you can still be in my life. i'm getting tired.
i am tired.
let me find my peace.
----
thanks.
that trip to baguio and sagada was free because you cared enough for my sanity.
i appreciate it. i only wish you could have been there. it would have been more fun that way.
---------
i need a new job. help me find one?
----
i want to get out of here. tell me how.
and finally,
goodbye livejournal. it was nice knowing you.
+)
rye
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read the leaves?
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Friday, January 4th, 2008
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i had this feeling that i might die at 28. if i do... please play "galileo" and "angels and devils" at my wake.
--------------
i thought i'd want you back in my life after all that space, all that time. it bothers me that i don't want you back. NOT EVEN WITH THE PROMISE OF HAVING THAT OTHER PERSON BACK IN MY LIFE TOO. but i can't help how i feel. you were such an emotional vampire.
plus -- it saddens me to realize why you were such an emotional vampire. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET YOUR OWN THING. YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO RIDE ON WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE DOING...
and yes, you are/were selfish.
---
realization:
i am NOT good in sharing. i am good in giving. but when i want something for myself or when i think that it should only be for me -- i have trouble sharing it though i have a very strong impulse to do so.
and the same is true for people in my life.
so i'm the jealous type. sue me.
----
*
a beautiful fucked up man... building a mystery, sarah mclachlan
i lost you. but it's fine.
i hated the feeling of having to "fall in line" just to get to you. i used to always be top priority. but oh well -- a new year is here.
i'm counting on new things.
but i gotta admit -- some days i still wait for an announcement that someone's leaving someone. not that you would announce it.
*
of all my demon spirits i need you the most... - ghost, indigo girls
-----
discarding. mentally. emotionally. physically.
*
The worlds on fire its more then I can handle
Ill tap into the water try and bring my share
Try to bring more, more then I can handle
Bring it to the table
Bring what I am able
Hearts are worn in these dark ages
You're not alone in these stories pages
The light has fallen amongst the living and the dying
And Ill try to hold it in
Yeah Ill try to hold it in - world on fire, sarah mclachlan
*
KARANGYAAN 2006. KAUNLARAN 2007. _____ 2008?
looking for a word to denote opportunities and/or going for things as opposed to waiting around for shit to happen.
---------
so i'm still waiting for YOU ...
*
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms - set fire to the third bar, snow patrol
-----------
what is normal? wanted to try that for 08.
--------------
it's actually NOT getting any easier. it's becoming more and more about the future. but the future never seems to come.
*
And he knows his life is changing
It's never easy letting go
For the first time you are mortal
As the child before you grows
And he wonders at the sight
Of the joy that he has found
Even closer than this life
Closer than your faith
Closer than the things that you hold dearly
And in vain
Closer than this life
Falling through again
Giving more than anything
That you could hope to win
And what would you intend to find?
Solitude? Your peace of mind?
Holding out for something less
Than touching the hand of God?
Even closer than this life
Closer than this faith
Closer than the things that you hold dearly
And in vain - closer, better than ezra
-------
i want it to be a good, normal year.
NO EXCUSES.
LESS WAITING AROUND FOR STUFF TO HAPPEN, MORE GOING FOR IT.
FLY!
LESS FEAR of: THE UNKNOWN
: REJECTION
WARMTH, HONESTY, SINCERITY IS STILL IN PLAY.
REJECT MEDIOCRITY.
it's gonna be good.
------------
+)
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read the leaves?
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Tuesday, October 16th, 2007
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sometimes the right thing to do is not the easiest thing to do.
i am in this constant state of wanting. i know what i want, i just don't know how to get it.
i want my own condo. but it seems with my job here, it'll take a hundred years, give or take a few to BUY one. but i'm still gonna try anyway.
you love arthur spiderwick. that was a nice coincidence, don't you think?
i want to get to that part where -- as alanis said it -- i won't flinch at your name.
we are all growing older. am i getting wiser? please God, if you're there and can be bothered by me -- let that be so.
thing is, i know i'm ok. i know i'm in a happy place right now. why the cabin fever?
where are you?
are you there yet?
btw, i've changed my mind about being apathetic. i want to care. only this time about what is worthy of giving a fuck about.
thanks for putting my bag in my bay. that was a nice gesture. i wanted to stop you from going but something held me back. but in holding back, i felt sad. BUT i refuse to think i am an idiot for that. we both know where we stand.
i know i am losing you.
i am losing you.
but i will gain myself back because of that. i promise.
"i will keep the color of your eyes, when no other in the world remembers your name."
+|
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read the leaves?
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Thursday, September 27th, 2007
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i finally stepped on siargao sand. spent a day and a half exploring. ASTEEEEG! i have pics but i'm too lazy to post them right now.
BUT in other news:
i finally went to see a doctor. i have had a bad dry cough for almost two weeks. my eyes have been constantly red and itchy. again, i am too lazy to explain the connection but there is. i found out that i am sick to a certain degree. with what? how? results in tomorrow.
it made me realize -- no, i don't want to die yet even though i thought i was ready to die if it's time.
and in ophelia storm county
... finally -- we see each other again. i'm tired of hiding behind cryptic posts. you and me -- we're just not gonna happen. i am slowly accepting that. but i have decided to NOT wrap my feelings up in a straightjacket. i'll hang out when i want to. talk to you. kid around with you. but when i cross the border to olivia newton john's county and my theme song starts with "maybe i hang around here/ a little more than i should/ we both know i've got somewhere else to go." i'll know i need to back off.
and just so that you know, a kiss on the lips will never be friendly. especially between us. let's not kid ourselves.
but i dug that game we played the other night. a game in the literal sense. paluan-kamay. ansakit ha! but it was fun. made me feel like we can still have fun the old way before all this mess that YOU started. before i started spreading the mess around.
i don't think we're cleaning up too well though.
i'll see you soon ekim.
------------
funny thing is -- i'm actually happy.
+)
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1 verse - read the leaves?
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Monday, August 27th, 2007
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GHOST
indigo girls
Words and Music: Emily Saliers
There's a letter on the desktop that I dug out of a drawer
The last truce we ever came to from our adolescent war
And I start to feel the fever of the warm air through the screen
You come regular like seasons shadowing my dreams
The Mississippi's mighty, but it starts in Minnesota
At a place where you can walk across with five steps down
And that's just how you started like a pinprick to my heart
But at this point you rush right through me and I start to drown
There's not enough room in this world for my pain
Signals crossed and love gets lost and time passed makes it plain
Of all my demon spirits I need you the most
I'm in love with your ghost
I'm in love with your ghost
Dark and dangerous like a secret it gets whispered in a hush (don't tell a soul)
And when I wake the things I dreamt about you last night make me blush (don't
tell a soul)
When you kiss me like a lover and you sting me like a viper
I go follow to the river play your memory like the piper
And I feel it like a sickness how this love is killing me
But I would walk into the fingers of your fire willingly
Dance the edge of sanity I've never been this close
In love with your ghost
oooooh-oooooooh-ooooooh-oooooooooh
oooooh-oooooooh-ooooooh-oooooooooh
Unknowing captor you'll never know how much you
Pierce my spirit but I can't touch you
Can you hear it a cry to be free
Oh I'm forever under lock and key
As you pass through me
Now I see your face before me I would launch a thousand ships
To bring your heart back to my island as the sand beneath me slips
I burn up in your presence and I know now how it feels
To be weakened like Achilles with you always at my heels
This bitter pill to swallow is the silence that I keep
It poisons me I can't swim free the river is too deep
Though I'm baptized by your touch I am no worse at most
In love with your ghost
Amy:
In love with your ghost
In love with your ghost
Emily:
You are shadowing my dreams
===============================================
ayun.
+(
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read the leaves?
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Tuesday, August 21st, 2007
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so.
here i am. still alive after all that emotional "trauma" of the past 4 months. i'm kinda surprised to still be "here" and to actually want to be around people again. not that i was wanting to off myself or anything but i was thinking that i'd come out of everything that happened -- burnt to the core and broken beyond repair. but after going to two parties, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) punchdrunkslob's going-away party and masturmind's birthday party-- respectively, my faith in being and feeling alive has returned. i feel like my world opened up a bit once again and i don't feel so stuck in the muck anymore.
four months ago i thought i would only have to deal with moving out but things just kept happening one after the other. but the dust is in the process of settling. i still can't see clearly but i'm keeping my fingers crossed and i'm gonna hope like crazy that this is not the eye of the storm because if it is -- i will throw a major tantrum and the universe will have me to deal with. not that i think the universe will actually stop dead in its tracks but one can hope (*insert wide-grin-of-the-hopeful-and-sarcastic here*).
but again -- i'm just happy to be able to feel happy again.
the troubles with the show have died down and we have made amends with each other and we have made our peace with what has transpired. we have also recognized the wrongs and the rights and i guess most everyone is trying to make up for what we did wrong regardless of whether we were aware of it or not. i am satisfied with that as of now -- simply because i love my job and the show and will pretty much do anything to make it a good one (even if, most of the time, i pretend NOT to care about it).
my physical self has made a new home. my mind feels healthy in this new place. though my heart misses its real home. but i also know and believe i did the right thing. and i have also acknowledged that the right thing is not a constant. sooner or later the tides will shift and i may have to go back or move on or go some place new all together and that next move will be what is right for that point in time. but more sleep and being away from things that are NOT really my problem is doing me alot of good. i can not fix my family's problems for them if they themselves refuse to recognize their problems and if they refuse to help themselves. the best i can do now is to support them -- from afar. i'm hoping that the time will come when we can sit down and talk more openly about this.
and ophelia is getting over her troubles... her heart feels like it has actually found rest.
i also feel like i'm on a new path -- still the same journey but on a different path parallel to the one i was on. i need to detour somewhere though. i know i'm looking for something, something i lost a long time ago. i feel like if i find it and use it along with what i have learned so far -- i'll be a better person... not necessarily for other people's benefits but for myself. and i'm feeling that there'll be a reward in there somewhere.
so there.
+)
ps
bon voyage noojie! all my love!
happy birthday jade! all my love as well.
+)
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read the leaves?
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i went out on a real date tonight.
hmmm... i cancelled on him last night and asked him to give me a text/call tonight if he still feels like it. and he actually did. we went out to get coffee and we saw The Simpsons. then we hung out at my place with my housemate til midnight. and then he went home. he was kinda asking to stay over but i said "no". he respected that-- i think.
it went well i think. i did have fun. and he said that he did too.
that's that for now.
+)
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2 verses - read the leaves?
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given the way this test was made -- there was no way i could have "rigged" my results (you know how when you take tests and shit and the questions make the results predictable and you just kinda click on whatever might give you your desired results....) i didn't even know what the possible results were. BUT it just feels cosmically weird, given the shit i just went through.
Your Score: Already TakenMisfortune Percentage: 77%These men already have a significant other. Yet you still can't get past their good looks to think reasonably. Or maybe you just dont want to think reasonably. |
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read the leaves?
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Wednesday, June 20th, 2007
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| Time: | 7:34 pm. |
| Music: | hey johnny park!. |
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i told myself a million times over that i will not do stupid things but it seems like it's a promise i couldn't keep. i've been drunk on and off for the past month and a half and it has significantly affected my work. i have been avoiding needlessly going to work for alot of other reasons. but NOT going when you need to focus on certain things kinda makes for work that sucks. and even if you were there but are unable to focus due to kick-ass hangovers makes for a pointless day. the bosses seem to have NOT noticed but i have and it's a lucky break but i feel lousy about it. i want to do better. i only hope i have enough resolve. and a little less distraction.
BUT the need to drink and be drunk every night has subsided. i don't want the alcohol anymore. i actually feel like focusing on work again. and i have settled in nicely at my new place. i have a crazy psychologist for a landlady and a frisbee-playing-philosophy-professor with two cats (Ziggy and Damien) and a born again virgin for housemates. and the housekeeper has one leg and a helluvan interesting life and a great recipe for korean beef.
though like most anything in my life -- when something settles and the pieces feel like they fall into place something just has to go wrong. i feel like this keeps happening. ( i feel like i'm going around in circles and it keeps happening this way. )
-------
from the diary of a broken baby
she can't think about it anymore. several metaphors have been offered. it is a door wherein the both of you refuse to back away from and yet you also refuse to go through.
that night was a car crash. almost. you saw it coming and yet you refused to take your foot off the pedal. you both wanted to take that turn, no matter how dangerous the curve.
the emergency lights went off. there was smoke on the stage. you should have gotten off. and exited thorough different doors. but you both still danced the choreography the ends with bows of regrets the morning after.
milan kundera said to be wary of metaphors. they can, after all, give birth to love.
but she doesn't know how to feel about the offer that was there but you refused thinking it was unfair to her. all that you said she deserves, you cannot give her. she knows that only too well.
maybe it is one clutter that you should take off the table? responsibility for one's actions. that's how it should go. maybe.
ophelia
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6 verses - read the leaves?
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| Subject: | congratulate me. i ended up doing... |
| Time: | 10:57 pm. |
| Mood: |  contemplative. |
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i haven't been focusing on much of anything lately. not work. not my family. or their problems. not my side projects. nothing. been avoiding the gym too. i'm not quite ready to get back into the full swing of my program since my friend, who was an instructor there, resigned.
uhm, well, that's the partial truth. the-- shall we say -- bigger truth is ... since he resigned i have also greatly relied on the company and the guidance of my gym-instructor crush boy, who as i have mentioned in earlier posts, is so extremely taken. but lately it just got weird for me. as olivia newton john put it --- "maybe i hang around here, a little more than i should..."
and it doesn't help that he sometimes offers to take me back to work or wherever i am going after gym. it also doesn't help when instead of just dropping me off, we'd sit in his car and talk some more. and it also doesn't help when we sit around at the gym and do the same thing.
i was perfectly content to think that his attention was a figment of my imagination but last night i was out drinking with some people from the gym and i met this lady-doctor and we got to talking about the instructors and basically at some point she tells me how she's noticed that my gym-instructor crush boy and i seem to "get along" soooo well. i was a bit surprised that someone noticed. she said i shouldn't be since he hardly gives a nod to any other client but when we hang out he smiles, laughs and actually talks. awwww... my poor, misdirected charm.
he asked me to hang out two saturdays ago, to smoke up. but his girlfriend arrives at the gym that night to work out and so he cancels on me. i was upset about it but i was more upset about how upset i actually felt.
i was so upset, i ended up doing....
3 bottles of red horse (which i have tasted but never really drank before) and then some.
i keep telling myself to enjoy the friendship but i can't when i feel like he avoids me when his girl's working out. what the fuck's up with that?
it's such a lost cause. and the whole thing is so moronic. i feel like such an idiot for letting myself feel too much.
oh well... there'll be better days.
though on a brighter, happier and more optimistic note -- I AM FINALLY ON MY OWN. I HAVE MOVED OUT AND AM FINALLY AND COMPLETELY FENDING FOR MYSELF. though i still send money home, of course. double the payments but it's all good. or it will all be good. eventually. i'm just gonna have to keep working at it.
i feel better already.
+)
ps i live in the tomas morato area now. let's get coffee or a beer if you're in the area.
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4 verses - read the leaves?
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PROM
sugarfree
nanginginig na mga kamay
puso kong di mapalagay
pwede ba kitang tabihan?
kahit na may iba ka nang kasama
ito na ang gabing di malilimutan
dahan-dahan tayong nagtinginan
parang ating ang gabi
para bang wala tayong katabi
at tayo'y sumayaw
na parang di na tayo bibitaw
bibitaw
nalalasing sa iyong tingin
di malaman laman ang gagawin
habang lumalamim ang gabi
ay lumalapit ang ating mga labi
ito na ang gabing di malilimutan
tayo'y naglakad ng dahan-dahan
parang atin ang gabi
para bang wala tayong katabi
at tayo'y sumayaw
na parang di na tayo bibitaw
bibitaw
matapos man ang sayaw
pangakong di ka bibitaw
parang atin ang gabi
parang atin ang gabi
parang atin ang gabi
para bang wala tayong katabi
at tayo'y sumayaw
na parang di na tayo bibitaw
parang atin ang gabi
para bang wala tayong katabi
at tayo'y sumayaw
na parang di na tayo bibitaw
di na tayo bibitaw
</c>
parang ganito kasi minsan....
+)
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read the leaves?
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i feel reckless these days.
and it scares me.
but like hell i'm gonna let that stop me.
though....
+)
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20 verses - read the leaves?
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i remember being at punchdrunkslob's birthday party last year where we played a round of cranium. i remember bursting out, "do you people have any idea what people our age are doing right now?". i won't go into the barrage of answers i got because needless to say, if words were bullets i would have died via a firing squad. it's just that the cleanliness of cranium fun made me -- well want to do something other.
anyway, i bring it up because last night -- well i kinda got the night i was thinking about. so it went like this, i have this friend from the gym, an instructor, who resigned and last night was his last night. so a girl friend (from GMA) and i head over to the gym to wait for him and a childhood friend he was bringing with us. so it turns out he also invited these two other clients -- a 20-year guy who studies at airlink and a 21 year old girl. i also asked the receptionist to tag along. and i also saw another friend (let's call him Ab) and persuaded him to NOT work out anymore and just go drinking.
( so this semi-wild drinking session followed. )
i think i pretty much succeeded in my endeavor though i think some parts were "happenin'" for my drinking mates because i "may or may not" have made some typical stupid drunk girl comments. let's go with may, shall we?
my excuse is i was disappointed that my gym instructor crush-boy failed to make an appearance pleading fatigue.
which brings me to some sappy, high school-ic crush newsflash: i have made progress with him in some ways. in the "not-so-fun" ways though. only that he regularly belays me now. and we have had some really long talks while at the gym. and once, he was bothered to bring me back to editing after i worked out.
the sad part is -- like most great parking spaces, this one is so friggin' taken. some days my hormones would kick in and i feel like asking if i can double park for a night but my good girl smarts would prove to be in control.
that and maybe i don't feel like risking the easy friendship we have established. for the most part, i actually feel like it's an accomplishment because he has a rep at the gym which he may or may not be aware of. again, let's go for may. some clients think he is stand-offish and way too reserved. and he is. except to some.
and also maybe i'm just another horny coward. horny. yes. but a coward nonetheless.
but hey, i'm having fun these days.
inspite of all the shit.
shit soon to be defined. maybe not.
+)
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read the leaves?
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i dunno what got into me but i have been drunk for two nights running. you see, i hang out with these two girls alot. we've known each other for ten years, maybe more. and the beauty of being friends with them is we all have this come-what-fucking-may attitude. so last friday we decided to leave marla's van at irene's place, hop into a cab and enjoy the scene over at sucat at 19 east bar and grill. we were kinda hoping for something different. the over-looking scene was nice and the fact that we weren't having coffee on a friday night made it different enough i guess.
we ordered a round of tequila rose, realized we liked it and ordered a bottle of the stuff. and soon enough we were giddy as hell. (i had also finished off a happy stick by then so i was VERY happy.) that night we made a pact -- that when we get to be in our late thirties or early forties, we will not go out to bars dressed like effin' ballroom dancers trying to land young dance instructors, like the women in the next table. i had to ask them not to say it too loudly as there more of them women at the next table and we might lose the impending cat fight because of their individual volume combined.
irene asked the waiter if anyone had ever puked in the bar's fountain. no one ever had.
we finished our bottle at around 3am.
i realized that alcohol tolerance is kinda like riding a bike. marla and irene were falling asleep at the table. i had another shot of plain and pure tequila because i needed "real" alcohol.
it was a bummer though that there were no cabs going by the place as i had to haul 3 drunk asses on to a passing jeepney and get off at the nearest place which looked decent enough to have cabs that would take us to QC.
i kinda sobered up then. 3 drunk girls out on their own in unfamiliar territory can give you buzz kill. but we got home safe and slept it off.
it was so much fun. and i think that was partly the reason why after having slept til 3pm at irene's (though irene by that time had left us because she had a 10am production meeting), marla and i had a really late breakfast at heaven and eggs on morato, had coffee with irene (who again left for another meeting, this time with piolo pascual. yes, THE piolo pascual, who loves her so much that he decided to give her a 30G iPod. *envy, envy* and it's not so much the gadget but who gave it to her.), went jogging and then decided to meet up again at 1030pm to get drunk some more.
marla and i parted ways temporarily -- she to various meetings and i to the gym to work out and flirt.
she picked me up at the gym and then went over to irene's and then we went off to music 21 for a night of drunkenness and videoke. it was a pitcher of tequila sunrise for marla and i and two glasses of margarita for irene. we had a set of happy songs and then decided not to kid ourselves and went on to sad songs...
it was basically a great girls' weekend out. i think i really needed to do that.
+)
__________
ps
i realized something about myself. when things get real bad at work, i don't explode, i implode and i'm not sure how healthy that is.
+?
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2 verses - read the leaves?
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from the diary of a broken baby
she knows the darkness is not to blame. given that you started out in the light. but sometimes you lose sight of regret when you seem trapped in small, confined spaces. when it seems that it has become a secret place that with walls that have no eyes, no ears.
one kiss apparently always leads to another. and it hurts her to keep your hands at bay. to keep your hands from reaching, from holding. you both know you have nothing to offer her. the coffee, the cigs, the laughs and the stories -- they should have been enough. and you tell her, "yes, they are and i want to keep them." and she says she wants that same thing.
but her brokeness keeps her wanting. keeps her guessing. the "what if's" in the ether keep slipping in. and you -- you don't understand how or why or when. but she is moved that you are moved.
but let her remind you that families are hard to come by. she has conceded to not being worth the mess that might follow. but it takes two to fuckin' tango. so help her stop in mid-dance. there's no need for the bow.
ophelia
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read the leaves?
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Saturday, April 21st, 2007
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Thursday, April 12th, 2007
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i wish there was a word to describe his smile.
i have not liked someone's smile that much for such a long time.
we rarely say more than two words to each other but today, today the universe was kind.
i asked my regular gym instructor to belay me on the wall but she had a client waiting to be trained. so she said she'd get one of the other instructors to do it for me.
(i was due to be at the editing bay by 830pm but fuckit! it was raining and i was NOT going until i have made contact.)
so she asks FEMALE instructor #1 to help --- and thank God, she's new. she has no idea how to do it.
so we go up to the gym-kong area (with all the heavy machines and where the musclemen do all that hard labor so they can later show off their bulging chests and their chicken legs which they totally neglected to work out along with their torsos).
flirty MALE gym instructor #1 of the gym-kong variety was there with my gym instructor crush-boy. #1 was busy supervising a gym-kong. my instructor asked crush-boy if he'd do it and he agreed.
on our way to the wall he said -- "e paano yan? hindi naman talaga ako marunong magbelay?" i don't really know how to belay." and there was that smile.
i said i'd better not die as i still have editing. and he asked me what i did and all that... and again that smile.
i put on the harness. he tightened all that needed to be tightened. and i'm not quite sure if i was able to wipe the goofy smile off my face. BUT WHO THE HELL CARES!
he hooked me up and i toyed with the hook thingie (the carabinger is it?) and he said -- "ako lang pwedeng gumalaw niyan." (i'm the only one allowed to touch that.) and again there was that smile.
i climbed two walls. BUT AGAIN, WHO THE HELL CARES.
i had his smile waiting for me when i climbed down. i wanted to do cartwheels. but uhmmm, my arms were shaking. i'm not even quite sure if it was from the effort or because he was loosening my harness (hihihi)... hay!
POTAH!!! KINIKILIG AKO. YUN LANG. KINIKILIG AKO!!! NAMPOTAH!
and he kinda stands out because you'd expect most instructors to have big muscles and all that. you know the type. him? he's just tall and lean. not muscled at all. no tummy too. and he really does have a nice smile.
+D
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4 verses - read the leaves?
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my shirt.
because i finally got ophelia on me. i dunno her real name but this guy named marc potts drew her.
and i borrowed her. permanently.
i want another one.
thanks to punchdrunkslob for the pics.
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6 verses - read the leaves?
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i tried a spinning class yesterday. it's that thing where you ride on stationary bikes and there's an instructor adept at torturing and such and she gives you instructions on how fast to pedal and the resistance to use and usually you pedal faster when she says so and you do it to music and -- well, you get the general idea, if not, look it up.
anyway, it was fun really. and the girl teaching it said it's good cardio and you can lose as much as 700 calories in one session so i can ditch my 1-hour treadmill altogether if i spin. i might do it again too. i like that she plays ska music for her classes.
thing is, my nether regions are not too happy about it. that wasn't their idea of fun. my ass refuses to talk to me right now. but i figure, they'll get used to it.
it so beats waiting for the treadmill nearest the tv and hunting for the remote amongst the other gym peeps.
tomorrow, i hope i come in time for class.
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13 verses - read the leaves?
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Sunday, February 25th, 2007
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so i guess i am a true-blue kris aquino hater. i so did NOT know what was happening. where have i been? if it hadn't been for hastyteenflick's update i would never have known that james yap cheated on her. and yeah ok --- in spite of my almost-retarded hate for her i kinda feel sorry for the wench. all that abrasive energy and money still couldn't protect her. but the way i see it, it's karma. maybe if she were actually nicer she woudn't get all kinds of shit from guys.
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right now i'm still resisting the idea that it'll be march in just THREE days. why didn't january or february struggle to stay longer? it just seems like the year of the pig is breezing on by and yet not much seems to be happening...
i think i'll take that back.
something has. and i'm still getting over it.
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thoughts i wish i could say OUT LOUD!
: current addictions keep me happy.
: no, i really don't care much for all that. i'm happy about it but i still don't like you. and please, i already said i was doing it so get your own fucking act.
: you have no idea what you're saying. if you only knew what i KNOW. you'd flip over and die... well maybe not immediately. but eventually.
: so would you consider mutual masturbation? would it be less of a sin? (i kid. or maybe not.)
: fuck off. i'm not consecrating myself to a second virginity. that's just stupid.
: good girls are boring. bad girls get bored. and trust me, you're boring.
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retarded and funny.
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2 verses - read the leaves?
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lonely.
mellow.
restless.
amused.
ditzy.
cranky.